I realize that Upton Bell has not been relevant for at least 25 years, perhaps he was never relevant, but some Tweets he put out last night really sum up the hotsportztakes movement in a microcosm.

The Red Sox had won 4 in a row heading into last night’s game, were atop the division and have been crushing the ball as of late. So why exactly was Red Sox Nation lonely? Oh, because Price has been really bad this season.

Let’s get this straight: David Price has underachieved thus far so Bell thinks the pressure should be on him to perform. David Ortiz and Jackie Bradley Jr are performing well, so they must be “on something.

It’s the perfect scenario. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You know, for an old guy, Bell has this hottakez thing down pat.

Now I’ll just go back to ignoring Upton Bell completely.


I received this email late last night regarding Tom Caron’s appearance in the NESN play-by-play seat with Dave O’Brien taking a night off:

…today (May12) is the day to analyze sports (Red Sox)announcer Tom Caron. I have read the comments many viewers gave several years ago (2008-2009). They reflect well the agony I suffer listening to him shout at me as long as he can. Why, in heaven’s name, has he not been told how unattractive and infuriating it is to have to listen to him. Tell: me this: if you invited a guest to a party at your home and he talked like Tom Caron does during all the time he was there, would you invite him again?. I find myself hitting the “Mute” button on the TV for most of the Red Sox Game

I like Caron as the studio host, but would agree that the play-by-play spot isn’t really his strength.


Misc:

I’ll be curious to see if NESN implements the “forced vacations” on O’Brien that they did on Don Orsillo the last few years.

Sean McDonough has perfect bloodlines for marquee NFL job – Chad Finn looks at the new MNF play-by-play man.

Glenn Ordway is bringing back the whiner line to WEEI. It will be on his midday show starting next Friday. Next up, Fred Smerlas and Steve DeOssie everyday during football season?

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18 thoughts on “For Whom The Bell Tolls

  1. Bell certainly was relevant in Boston sports talk. He teamed with Lobel on ‘BZ radio nightly in the days following Mainella’s departure. By the way, whatever happened to Guy Mainella?

    1. He also has some amusing skits with Will McDonough on Channel 7 and was moderator of Sportsbeat which was a sports round table program with local media personalities (Lobel, Ryan, Callahan, Joe Fitzgerald, etc). He absolutely was relevant. The fact that Allen gets his panties in a bunch because an elderly, “irrelevant” person tweets what many well known sports radio hosts are publicly discussing on air just shows how thin skinned he is. If Upton is “irrelevant”, why is Allen reading his Twitter timeline?

      1. Because his Twitter feed is hilarious. Creepy old coot with one foot in the grave hottaking out into the void all day about sports and pop culture. It would be pathetic if it wasn’t so funny.

        1. Sounds familiar. Isn’t that the ‘eei model and the Twitter fed of their personalities”? Or are you describing Bruce?

        2. “Creepy old coot with one foot in the grave “….I sincerely hope you respect the elders in your life a little more than that general statement. By the way, Upton Bell, at 79 years old, is still working. Seems a little contradictory to “one foot in the grave, no”?

          1. He has hosted a political talk show in Worcester for many years, so yes, he is still “working.”

          2. If my 73-year old father gets on Twitter to give hottake opinions on Justin Bieber’s music and how hot Taylor Swift is, yes, I’d call him creepy too.

          3. For some reason, I was invited to be a call-in guest on Upton’s show about 10 or so years ago. He was very cordial. He did spend the first minute of an 8-minute segment using my name in puns, which is easy to do but not great radio.

  2. I was already not listening to the mid-day show, but bringing back the Whiner Line would have made me stop abruptly, had I been listening.

  3. Keep:
    Dennis
    Callahan
    Ordway
    Merloni
    Fauria
    Holley
    Thornton
    Adams
    Stearns

    Dump:
    Minihan
    Arnold
    Mustard

    Need More of:
    Smerlas
    DeOssie
    Schilling
    Any Ex Pat Brown, Bruschi, Zo, Harrison

    1. I was going to write “this list is terrible” but then i started doing my own and realized what a clusterf**k of an exercise this is due to the deplorable state of local sports radio.

      Still, this list is terrible.

      1. Yup, the list lost credibility early on but it went off the rails with the inclusion of Smerlas and DeOssie in the “Need more of:” section.

        1. Tanguay was the only name he* needed to add to that “Need more of” section to complete the carnage.

          I am assuming Margo Adams is male, since no self-respecting woman would name herself after Wade Boggs’s paramour, right?

          1. I don’t know. There are a lot of women who fall in love with prison lifers and while I don’t know Boggs personally I have to believe he is a step up from them. So it must be possible there is a woman out there that loves regular joes who have great hand eye coordination, an undying love of fried chicken, and the ability to will themselves invisible.

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